“Something happened”On March 21, 2020 by Barbara
I like to make plans. I spend hours trying to fine-tune my schedule so that I can do all the things I need to, the things I love, the things I’d like to do.
And I admit that I’m not always the best at following that. After all, it’s my own schedule and I’m allowed to change it. The way I feel mentally and physically at the time also plays a big part on how strict I am with that.
But sometimes I’m ready and excited to do everything just as I planned – or worse, there are to-dos of the “needs to happen yesterday” kind, and something comes up and flips my whole day upside down.
What the heck, man. Not cool.
Having something mess with your plans (and mental state, really) like that is not fun, and it can have a butterfly effect that stretches across many other aspects of your life. It not only affects your schedule, it also affects your mood – which might in turn affect your schedule once again, creating a vicious downward spiral towards inaction.
So what do you do?
Well, that depends. You can do your best to be proactive, rearrange your schedule and just get on with it. Shit happens but life goes on. Or maybe you get hit so hard that those tasks get pushed back into the furthest corner of our mind, never to be seen or heard of again.
I’d like to say that I’m the former, that getting interrupted doesn’t really affect me that much and that I bounce back quickly. But that’s generally not true. I tend to be the latter. I don’t quite let it go as far as the downward spiral, it’s more like… “well, I didn’t do those things and no one died, so I guess they’re not as urgent as I thought” and back they go into the “whenever” pile.
But you (I) can’t use “something happened” as an excuse. Something will always happen, as life has a way of getting in the way of… well, life. Doing so takes away your responsibility, so I get it. Failing feels much better when it’s someone else’s fault. But you really should be thinking about yourself. Especially if we’re talking about a personal project. The only person with something to lose is you, so does it really matter what happened or whose fault it is? Your need, your desire, your goal is still there. They are the ones that still matter. The important thing is to make sure that you keep your dream alive.
How much crap I give myself about this varies. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never achieve anything because I’m not disciplined enough. That I never finish anything I start, and what’s the point of starting anything anyway. And sometimes I think that it’s ok, enjoying life right now is also important. Other things also deserve attention. And if I don’t feel the urge to work on whatever project, it’s a sign that my heart is not it right now.
Everyone is different, and I don’t think there is one right answer that’ll work in every situation. But I think that you need to be aware of your hows and whys, and keep checking in with yourself to make sure that you’re ok with wherever you are.
Because your projects and your goals matter, but your mental health and your happiness matter more.
You matter more.