Wishful thinking won’t get you anywhere

I remember when “The Secret” came out. What an amazing concept! You mean… I can just comfortably sit on the couch and focus while the power of thought does all the work for me?

Ha! Need I say more?

Oh, but I’m going to.

Are you freaking serious? How is “focusing” going to make me skinnier, smarter, employed, married, happy? I think it’s likely to do the opposite, since it actually incentivizes you to not take action.

As outlandish as this concept may sound to me (and hopefully you), some people believe it. Why?, I ask. And the only answer I can come up with is… they’re lazy. I can’t believe it could be anything other than that. It’s easier to do nothing, and then blame the world (cosmos? universe?) for things not going their way.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I’m lucky. I have a home, a husband, a job, a family (two, actually), a car, heat, food, friends, goals… I could keep going. And you know what? I had to work my little tushy off to get here. My boss didn’t knock on my door saying “hey, does a developer live here by any chance? I’d love to give them a job”. I pay a mortgage. I work really hard on my relationships. I work out. I eat well. I had to actually move to a different country to be with my husband.

I’ll try to make this one short. It’s unbelievable to me that some of these things are not obvious to everyone, but they are not. So here you go:

If you need a new job but feel under qualified, then by all means study. I know that it will take time, but if you don’t start, it will never happen. Six months from now you will thank yourself for having started today. And apply for the job you’re under qualified for. The worst they can do is say no. Do you absolutely need money? Then apply to the job you don’t want, but can get. You have to start somewhere.

If you are tired of meeting people who disappoint you, change your own habits. Change your environment. Try going to different places and doing different things. Make new friends. Focus on the qualities you’re looking for so you know it when you see it. And work on yourself. Be the person you want to attract. Depressive people don’t attract happy people. Lazy people don’t attract active people.

If you want to change your body – be it lose or gain weight, become stronger or more active, or anything else, start by figuring out how to get there. What kind of activity you like? Add it to your schedule in a way that it’s super easy for you to do. Make sure it is a priority, even if it’s just showing up for a few minutes a couple of times a week. Start small, grow slow and steady.

Nothing will change unless you change. Decide where you want to be, figure out the steps you will need to take to get there, and by all means TAKE THEM! Yes, I know it seems overwhelming. That’s why we break it into smaller, manageable steps. Take one step at a time.

But oh. my. god. let’s get started.